I knew that shaping my own path meant travelling through life solitary at times, sometimes more than expected and sometimes more than wanted. I had no choice but to become my own best friend. This was the sweetest thing I had ever discovered in life. I learned to look inside for all the wisdom that already existed in me and to let it shine out.
After many years of owning one of the most important and respected restaurants in Copenhagen - A job I was very good at, yet did not truly fulfill me - I took a leap of faith and dove into the world of Coaching, Emotional Intelligence and Neuro-Linguistic Programming. My thirst for knowledge drove me to desire to learn from the best of the best. Through learning from eminent experts like Richard Bandler, Anthony Robbins, Byron Katie, Daniel Goleman, John & Julie Gottman, Sue Johnson and Debbie Ford, I was able to strive closer towards creating the life I wanted to live.
But somehow I still found myself climbing a ladder away from what I really wanted… How could this be?
For many years I did not listen truly to this voice inside me yearning for emancipation, but instead tried to fit in and be like others. Be “normal”. I pretended and tried very hard to mold myself into someone else to gain the love and approval of others. I was caught up in the Social Idealism, and living a life others had planned for me.
Until one day…
With one word I cancelled my own wedding only a few weeks in advance. Everything was ready. The wedding dress tailor-made. The invitations delivered. The venue, the menu, the music, the honeymoon, the country where to live “happily ever after. ”
Yet, it was all a lie. A lie I had created as an accumulation of many years of living a life that did not belong to me but instead belonged to my fears, narrow thinking and limited mindset. Standing on the top of the ladder I was looking down at my created Kingdom, my Empire… and I didn´t like what I was seeing.
Something inside me said “I am not the “me” I want to be”. I had been warned to not make a radical decision or take drastic actions, but even though it hurt deeply, I knew it was the best decision I could make.
I decided to divorce my created story. I knew the change and happiness I was searching for this time was not going to occur outside of me, but deep inside. I knew I needed to change the direction of the arrow of my life.
I had to divorce “the created me” to build up a new me. An authentic life for who I really am. Yet this time my aim was not to prove to anyone my self-worth, scared by the criticism of others. This time I took a deep dive into myself. Into my silence. Into my own inner wisdom once again, but this time I was committed. Committed to peeling away the layers to connect to my core. Embracing pain as well as pleasure, ready to go deep and live the change in me and allow myself to become more of who I really am.
This is what later inspired me to develop my own coaching method; the "Inner Power Method”, to help people from all walks of life invest in their personal development and stride confidently towards the direction of their dreams.
In Turkish my name is “Özben” meaning: Authentic Self. It took me decades to understand the true meaning of this name my parents gave me. Today I live it fully.
Today I am married. I married the happiness that I created from within and I promise you, I will never divorce it until the last breath I take.
Everything I have done has led me to this very moment. To share everything I have experienced and learned along my journey … with you. To help you tune into your own “Authentic Self”. To live a true life creating your kingdom of meaning, instead of a false fairy tale.
Part of me knows I am standing on the edge of something amazing, but it is bigger than that. It is more powerful than any success I have ever dreamed of. It is the realization that I love what I do, I have created something that I love and now I get to share this with you.