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For most of us, the way in which we represent thoughts and memories in our minds tends to have an impact on how we feel. For example, if you picture yourself being successful, you feel good. If you think about something that scares you, you feel bad.
NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) provides us with a manual and model of how the mind works, as it studies the way in which human beings perceive the world and how they process information and experiences.
The submodalities within NLP are the way in which we internally represent information or data recorded through our senses.
“I consider the model of Submodalities the most significant thing I probably have done until now…” Richard Bandler, Co-Creator of NLP
Sometimes we think that something should be different than how it is… ”My husband should love me more”, ”My children should appreciate me more”, ”My boss should be kinder to me”, ”My mother should respect my decisions and not meddle so much in my life”.
When you believe these thoughts, you suffer.
But you have to know that the reason for your unhappiness is not found outside of you, but in what you believe in. Only when you free yourself from these thoughts do you find peace with yourself and with the world around you.
What do you do to get angry?
What do you do to get sad?
What do you do to get happy?
What do you do to feel insecure?
When I formulate these questions to people, first there is silence… and then the reply tends to be something like “I don’t know”, or “I have no idea”. For many, it does not make any sense to ask what you do to feel these emotions?
But learning how our emotions are generated helps us get to the root of any problems without getting stuck in the symptoms.
Sometimes it is necessary to unlearn what was once learned to be able to act in a more flexible manner and to move in the right direction to obtain the desired results.
Do you feel misunderstood by others? Maybe you feel as though you do not know how to explain yourself well? Or you cannot express yourself clearly due to the fear of not being accepted? Are your relationships with your friends, family, partner, or colleagues not as you desire them to be?
Do you feel that you put yourself down in front of certain people, or depending on the situation that you find yourself in? Do you see other people – not more intelligent than yourself—making great achievements? Do you convince yourself that this way of life is the only one out there for you?
What needs to happen for you to feel good? Do you need somebody to give you a hug, kiss you, tell you how much he or she respects and appreciates you? Do you need to have a million Euros? Do you need to have a perfect body? Do you need to be driving the right car? Be acknowledged by the right people? Do you need to work-out every day?
In other words…. what are your rules and your markers of HAPPINESS?
Do you feel confused and do not know what you REALLY want to do in life? Are you not experiencing the satisfaction that you desire in your life? Are you bored with your profession? Do you find life does not hold a special meaning for you? You do not quite know what you would like to do, but you are sure that it is not what you are doing right now? Do you find it difficult to make decisions – Do you find yourself constantly in dilemmas?
Move forward in the direction of your sincere inspirations by defining your values.