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Do you feel that even when your partner is trying to please you, he or she never really fully understands you? Or the other way around, do you feel that something is failing in your relationship because the other person becomes upset with you…. without you knowing why? Or without them giving an explanation?
“You should call me more often”…. “You should change your style of clothing”….”You should find a better job”…. “You should be more mature”…. “Why aren´t you more attentive to me?”, “Why aren´t you healthier?”, “Why aren´t you more organized?” , “Why do you always disagree with me?” “Why aren´t you more caring towards me?”
If you pay attention you will realize that you have these kinds of thoughts in a relationship a dozen times a day. These thoughts are ways of wanting the reality that we live with our partner to be different than what it really is.